Fanfic draft (Vic)

My Girl /マイガール

This is a story based on the japanese drama/manga series of "my girl"....



* * * * * * * 『 My New Life begins.... 』* * * * * * *

Kasama Shota works as a camera assistant in a photo studio and there is a woman in his life that he will never forget-Yuko.

Six years ago, she suddenly decided to study abroad and left Shota without any notice. During the first three years Shota has been writing letters to Yuko but no reply at all. I've been dumped completely; she’s done with me- thought Shota. And since then he stopped writing letters to her. Even then, all he could think about everyday is Yuko.

One day, Shota found out that Yuko passed away as she was involved in a major car accident. He could not accept the sudden news of death and he crashed down by the trees filled with memories of him and Yuko.

Life is just full of surprises and twist...

There Shota saw a girl sitting on a tree.

"Are you ok? Do you need help?"

"I miss my mum" cried the girl.

"Let’s go find your mother then" replied Shota.

And there was a silence.

As the girl climbed down the tree, she held a cup telephone and told Shota that whenever she wanted to talk to her mum she would use this cup so her mum could hear her from the other side of the world.

Kasama asked the girl’s name.

“Koharu” replied the girl with a sweet smile.

“Then your mother’s?”

“Yuko! Mother told me to find a man called Kasama Shota…He is my dad” said Koharu with puzzled eyes.

What!? How could this be? This girl standing in front of me is my daughter? But Yuko never said anything to me….Shota was puzzled and not a single word could come out of his mouth.

“Koharu! There you are!!” and came with an old lady with wrinkles showing on her face.
Yoko’s mother, Shiori appeared.

And Mrs. Shiori invited Shota for a cup of tea…
“You know, she kept all your letters in a big box. She has never missed out on a single letter and would read them over and over whenever she misses you”

“But why didn’t she tell me anything about it?” asked Shota with a confuse look.
“She had Koharu one year after she arrived in England and didn’t want to bring you trouble so she wasn’t planning to tell you anything about it. She often rings home and cried about the stress she was having with raising up a child on her own. Poor child. And unfortunately she passed away just 3 month ago. Now talking about the raising child issue…Koharu is only 6 years old and she must have a proper guardian. I know it’s too sudden but would you please consider raising her for me and Yoko. I believe nobody can do it better than you!”

Shota keep silent.

As he walked out of the front door, Mrs. Shiori passed a big box to him “Everything you sent her is kept in there…please treasure this memory carefully” waved Mrs. Shiori.

That night, Shota opened the box. It’s as if a bunch of butterflies came out of the box, al the memories with Yuko came back. Whether it’s the time that they spent together in college or walking alongside the beach in summer…

The second day he called Mrs. Shiori to ask to meet up with Koharu.
“I have to get to know Koharu better and interact with her more often” thought Shota.

Koharu starred at a bunch of flowers in a park with big smiles which reminded of Shota of Yuko so much. Shota stood there in a daze and thinking about the letters he read last night…
“No! This is my Child…Me and Yuko’s child! Whatever happens and whatever I have to overcome I can do it!!”


“I don’t have the confidence but shall we try living together?”

Nodded Koharu with a big smile.

That day Mrs. Shiori helped Koharu to pack her belongings to get ready to live with Shota…

“Thank you for your decision! I’m sure Yuko will be happy too. If there is anything you need just call me” said Mrs. Shiori as she makes her way towards the main gate of the house…

However what is about to start is far more difficult than Shota has ever imagined.

No cooking experience can’t sew clothes, getting ready for Koharu going to Kindergarten became all sorts of problems as the second day starts…

“It will get better with Yuko’s bless from heaven” He consoled himself…

Like this, they spent a whole year together….


And goes another New Year…

Koharu will be going to primary school this year and is all excited and looking forward to the first day of school.

“Shota Kun, I wanted to study at the primary school where mum use to be at! They have pretty uniforms and it’s so pretty over there” said Koharu.

Shota smiled back with no reply….
Letting Koharu fulfill that dream means Shota must quit the current job because the primary school is located at another prefecture…..

Koharu realized too and stayed silence for the whole night….
“Don’t worry, I will quit my job and we will move to Ibaraki Prefecture together” Shota broke the silence at dinner.

“I don’t’ want you to quit the job! I know you love photography as much as you loved Yuko! I will move there with grandma and you can still visit us”…..cried Koharu..

Shota hugged Koharu, shed a tear drop….



The day of separation has finally arrived.

Shota walked with Koharu to the bus stop and gave her a big hug along with a beetle necklace that was worn by Yuko.

“This will bring you luck and you won’t miss me with this!’’ Shota whispered.

Koharu nodded and got on the departure bus with Mrs. Shiori.

The bus started moving, Koharu waved hard through the window with drops of tears and Shota also waved back….

Promise I will visit you soon…..
With the memory of each other, two people had begun their brand new life…..

Vic's fanfic reviews

Freddy VS Jason Vs Detective conan


I have been watching this cartoon ever since I was ten so it was wonderful to see many people did fanfiction based on the cartoon. It was easy to follow what the writer is trying to convey to the reader as the prologue of the story is excatly the same as the start of the cartoon. The story is wrriten with a conversation based style which I thought was a good idea to catch reader's attention and keep them getting interested throughout the plot.


X-men
X-men was also one of the comics that I enjoyed reading throughout my secondary years.
I like the way the storyline flows like different movie scenes all pieced up together.Although it was be better if the author introduces just the main characters rather than having all the new names popping up at once. A lot of description words are also used which made it easier to picture what is happening through reader's head.



花より男子/Boys Before Flowers

It was interesting to see how the writer chaneged the main character to all girls instead of staying the same way as the comic was written which was a group of four boys. The personality of the four girls stayed the same way as how the four boys would act except the writer made the girls so arrogant about themselves. I think the 4 girls characteristics could be changed a little so to make it different from the original story.


Alice in Wonderland -What If

A very sentimental start! Hatter's feeling was clearly conveyed to the readers through writer's words whether Alice and Hatter were lovers or friends. If there is going to be a secode series of the movie made,I would strongly recommend this story as I think its a great linking between the end and the new beginning.



Grudge- Ripped Apart

It was a sad but well written story. Unlike the actual movie, this fanfic focused on the boy more. The story was written through Toshio's eyes, from how he felt about his father, his close relation to his mother,until when they are all dead.
Some of the part would be good if used in the actual movie.

Shrek

The whole story was pretty sweet and fun reading. Compare to the movie,more dimension was added to the characters by the writer which lead to strong development of main characters like Fiona. Although did not get the character Orge Child. Anwyay nice suprises from the Snow White, Fiona definately did not expect such a wonderful birthday party!

Titanic- A Much Happier Ending

It was definatley nice to see Jack is still alive and what will happen after the disaster. It would be better if the writer describe how jack recovered his body in more details rather than just having him being able to talk and fight with Cal all of the sudden. I liked the little scene in which they meet with Molly. The "money" incident ended the story smoothly.

Man in the Iron mask

Even though this is just a short paragraph of thoughts of Philippe while he was in prison by the writer but clearly described his thoughts of others blacken his name and his hope of getting out of the darkness everyday. This again emphasis the fact that he was brought in this world with unlucky fate and unfairness. A great man in the iron mask's one-shot.

2010 Before the End

This is a nice brief insight of moments between Sasha and Tamara before the end of the world. The dialogue between the two was well written. Sasha's unhappiness is clearly seen just like in the movie. Tamara's feelings also got introduced which was nice. Since the story is about the end of the world, it would also be good to touch on how they see a glimpse of hope in more details.

1 Litre of Tears/1リットルの涙

The diary was broken down into two parts with Aya and Asou's thoughts that was never conveyed to each other. Both "one day" and "one night"reminded me of how sad the drama is. This fanfic is ideal for a narration story. Words and phrases which are
been used are also prefect to fit the scene. Lovely story.

Juana's Fanfiction

Miracle of Love

My fan fiction is based on the movie" Australia", it is one of my favorite movies about love, war, separation and reunion. I changed the ending a little bit of how they reunited and made it more exciting.

Introduction

This is a love story which happened in Darwin during the 1930's, Sarah Ashley came from London to meet her husband in the Faraway Downs farm of Darwin. Before Sarah arrived, her husband was murdered by Neil Fletcher who worked for him and wanted to have Lord Ashley's farm to himself. An aboriginal boy Nullah and cowboy Drover helped Sarah Ashley successfully to 1500 cattles and to keep the farm running. Sarah fell in love with Drover later and they brought up Nullah together, three different person from three different background constructed a happy family.

In 1939, Japan attacked Darwin, this happy family was broken up but miracle has happened -they were reunited , this fanfiction is about how this family reunited again.

Sarah was very excited that morning , she knew that she will have Nullah home again since he was taken to the Mission Island with other boys. She misses him everyday and could not wait for this day to come.

She changed shift with Cath Fletcher who worked with her in the telecommunication centre. She walked with enthusiasm and was singing to herself. Ivan asked her: " Hi, Sarah, why are you so happy today?" She said: " I will go to pick up my boy. He will be back from Mission Island today!" then she hugged Ivan and said goodbye to him. No one knew the war was coming.


After a few hours, lines of airplanes from Japan attacked the Darwin. The city collapsed by bombs immediately, there were fire and dead bodies everywhere . The building where Sarah worked was fully destroyed , people thought Sarah was dead. Mission Island was attacked as well. Nullah might have died as well.

Drover was far away from Darwin when he saw many cars and trucks passed by, he realized that something wrong has happened. He immediately thought about Sarah and Nullah. He had an argument with Sarah a few weeks ago about Nullah and anger lead him leaving his family. " Are they safe?". Morgarri(Drover's ex-brother-in-law) blamed him :"You shouldn't have left them, you know how much Sarah loves you, you should go to look for them." Before Morgarri finishes his sentence, Drover already rode the horse and left.

When they came back to Darwin. The messy scene shocked them and Ivan told them that Sarah died, Drover cried:" It is all my fault, if i didn't leave her, she wouldn't die!" Suddenly, he thought about Nullah, " I should go save him."

They went to Mission Island and saved all the boys from the killer Japanese soldiers. Drover took the boys back home by a ship.Nullan asked Drover "Where is Mrs Boss? ( He always called Sarah this)". Drover said: " We can't say her name anymore. "( The custom of aborigine is if a person dies, people are not allowed to say his/her name anymore.)

When the ship came back to Darwin, Sarah has already left, she went to England with Sir Emmet's army. Drover and Nullah went back to Far Away Downs to keep running the farm that Sarah has left for them, they started their ordinary life again but they all realise that things will never be the same without Sarah, they still love her very much and she is deep in their heart.

After a few months of living in London Sarah decided to go back to Far Away Downs and run her farm again. She wanted stay where good memories of Nullah and Drover were kept, eventhough she knows that they are not going to be there.

One day, Nullah saw a car coming to Far Away Downs , he climbed to the water tower and looked at the car from up high. The car stopped and a lady got off from the car with a long skirt, a tight shirt and a hat, she held an umbrella in her hand." She looks like Mrs Boss, no, it is impossible, I can't say her name anymore." Nullah came down from the water tower and went near the car to look at that lady more closely and clearly. He could not believe his eyes." Mrs Boss, Mrs Boss, is that you?"

Sarah was shocked :" My God, is this Nullah? Nullah! " She threw the dropped the umbrella, ran to the Nullah and held him up in her arms . " Nullah, I thought you .. I missed you Nullah!" She cried. " Mrs Boss, they said I couldn't say your name anymore." "Nullah, tell me how did you survive and who looks after you now?" Nullah expressed his happiness with a tricky smile ,"Take a guess , Mrs Boss!" Sarah was all confused and had no idea...

The familiar voice appeared, "Nullah, do we have visitors here?" "Drover!" Sarah couldn't control herself and ran to him, Drover was surprised and then shouted:" Sarah, is that you? Am I dreaming?" "Drover , it is her! We can say Mrs Boss's name again!"Nullah shouted.

" I love you Sarah , I will never let you go anymore!" Drover held Sarah tightly in case he loses her again. Sarah said" I love you too, I'm going to be with you forever Drover." Nullah, Sarah and Drover have finally reunited and the three people are back as a perfect family. They lived in Faraway Downs Farm happy ever after.

Freda's fanfiction

Garfield: Mental Stress

I followed with a fanfiction named “Garfield’s piano” and wrote a new continuation about the story between piano and Garfield, Odie and Jon Arbuckle.

Last time, Jon bought a piano and warned Garfield and Odie not to touch it at any time. But with the help of Odie, Garfield played Jon's piano on the sneak when Jon was not at home. Odie was so excited that he jumped on the top of the piano and almost knocked it over. Fortunately, He and Garfield pushed the piano to stand up just as Jon came back home.
This time, when they were playing the piano, Jon came back earlier than before. Jon opened the door. Garfield and Odie did not notice his coming at all as they were happily playing the piano.
Suddenly, they were terrified as they saw Jon bursting into the room. Odie swiftly hid behind the curtain, Garfield froze on the stool.
Nobody knew what would happen.
“Excellent! Wonderful! I’m going to show you guys to my colleagues” Jon hugged Garfield and said.
“WHAT?! REALY?!” yelled Garfield and Odie with surprise.
“Yes, tomorrow. I’ll invite all my colleagues to come to my home; you guys will be playing the piano in front of them. I want Tony to see how genius my pets are. He always boasted about his stupid parrot in our office, I’m sick of him for a long time.” said Jon excitedly.
Garfield and Odie were shocked again.
“Can I absent your invitation?” Garfield just wanted to ask with audacity.
“No excuses for absence." Jon seemed to figure out Garfield’s intent.
"You guys must pay out for your disobedience of the rule.” said Jon.

“Come, Odie! Keep practicing piano with Garfield. I’m going to make a big meal for you guys.” Jon was skipping and humming into the kitchen in his unusual weird way .

Garfield stared at Odie bitingly “Odie, you must want to play the piano in front of the strangers vey much?”.
“wuwuwu” Odie shook his head madly.
“Yes, great musicians like us will never play piano for the stupid people. We must think of a strategy to stop this horrible idea.” Garfield said.
Odie nodded in agreement.
Garfield had brainwave and whispered to Odie about his plan.
Odie ran toward the kitchen. Garfield sneaked into the bathroom.

“Gu,gu…” Odie purred around the feet of Jon.
“Excite or Hungry, Odie? Wait, I’m cooking your favorite food.” Said Jon.
Odie saw Garfield was back and groveled on the floor. He changed his voice, screamed and jumped onto the table.
“No, Odie, come down!” Jon commanded.
Odie stood there for a second then jumped down the table. “Good boy!” praised Jon.
Just as Jon thought Odie had probablely calmed down, Odie started to scratch the sofa.
“Hey! Stop, Odie! What’s wrong with you?” shrieked Jon with anger. Odie barked and ran around the sofa, the table and all the rooms, then furiously clawed at the curtains near Garfield.
Jon ran over to stop Odie. He spotted Garfield crawling on the floor, looking very uncomfortable. Jon asked surprisedly: “What is the matter, Garfield?”, and petted Garfield’s head.
Doing so he felt his hand was a little bit wet. “Oh, Garfield, are you sick?”
Garfield looked at Jon weakly and responded “Yes, mental stress-- heavy pressure.”
“Pressure??” asked Jon confusedly, “Oh, Calm down! Garfield. I’m making the most delicious lasagna for you. After you eat, you’ll be fine”
“Lasagna!” in his mind ,Garfield saw a delicious plate. He was slavering and so hungry.

“I know you Garfield, as long as you eat lasagna, everything will be fine. You and Odie must give a big surprise to them, big, big surprise…” Jon said as he was walking to kitchen.

Garfield looked at the back of Jon.

“Our acting definitely needs to be upgraded, Odie.” he said in a low voice.

Odie nodded then barked and ran around the rooms. He jumped up and down and pushed many things over. Jon scolded him loudly. He still kept moving.
“You probably are so very hungry, come, Odie, I’ve made the best steak for you.” Jon took out a plate with a big piece of steak, very delicious smell.
Odie stopped and stared at the steak drooling.
He quickly peeped at Garfield who was squinting at him but still groveled on the ground.
Odie seemed to understand Garfield’s meaning. He picked the steak up with his mouth and ran again…
“Stop, Odie! Why does Odie become so crazy now?” Jon shooked his head.
“That is all your fault!” thought Garfield.
Jon was taking a large plate of lasagna towards Garfield.
“Hi, good boy, see, your favorite, cheer up!” Jon said friendly.
The aroma of lasagna drifted closer to his nose, Garfield gulped his slaver back hard, but he still bent over the floor without moving.
“Garfield, you don’t want to eat l-a-s-a-g-n-a?” Jon asked turgidly.
Garfield unexpectedly stilled on the ground. This never happened before.

Jon looked at Odie running around crazilywith the steak in his mouth, and looked down at Garfield bending over the floor without any appetite. He suddenly understood something.

“Ok, I’ve changed my idea. I will not invite the people to come to our house tomorrow.” Jon exclaimed.
Odie stopped.
Garfield looked up to him for a moment, and then lowered his head on the ground again.
Odie resumed his crazy runing.
“OK, okay, not only tomorrow, never, I’ll never ever ask them to come here, OK?” Jon announced.
“Woo-hu!”
Garfield jumped on to the lasagna and munched happily .
Odie stopped running, was exhausted and collapsed next to Jon's feet. The steak fell on the floor; he didn’t want to eat it anymore.
Poor Odie, he was too tired.

My FanFiction

Well... I finished my FanFiction so far... It is about a story in the "Silmarilion" a book by J.R.R. Tolkien.

Introduction

The story is set in Middle Earth; however this episode takes place much earlier than “The Lord of the Rings” (Third Age). It tells about the fall of the city Gondolin (First Age) through the eyes of a young elf called Elenya.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

A GREAT WARRIOR

“Psst!” I heard him whispering to me but did not dare to look. Mother and father stood close to me as we waited at the greate city wall for the first rays of the morning sun. “The Gate of Summer” is this feast called, a celebration of the ever-returning light. “Elenya…” he called out for me again, suddenly taking my hand. For one moment I stiffened, then, as silently as possible, slipped away from my parents who were engaged in a conversation with acquaintances. We walked a few steps; nervously I kept glancing back.

As we hid I took a deep breath. “How could you,” I asked him. “What if they see us?” “One day they will,” he answered and gently stroked my cheek. Glorfindel did not care too much about this matter but I did. In Gondolin they praised my beauty and charm but I was just 30 years old, a ridiculously short period of time for an elf, and my parents feared for me so they did not tolerate any male elf near me. But I was in love with Glorfindel, the golden haired warrior and we met in secret whenever we could. “I think this is not a good time to talk,” I told him. After one last look into these sparkling green eyes I turned around to leave but he grabbed my arm. He kissed my forehead and I smiled. I had to go. Without a noise I sneaked back to my parents. Luckily no one had noticed my absence.

It was about time. Any minute the sun should rise and I was waiting for it dearly since my eyelids were heavy. Almost falling asleep at the spot I tried to concentrate at the sky in the east. For a brief moment I turned my head to look for my beloved. I could not find him but something else attracted my attention. Soon others noticed it as well: The red shine of fire had risen in the east. Worriers and guards rushed past us, my father left mother and me behind to follow them. Promptly everyone panicked but nobody knew what had happened.

We started running, I lost track of my mother and stayed where I had last seen her. Unexpectedly someone seized my wrist. “Come with me, I know where to go.” It was Glorfindel and I was relived to have him by my side. Then I thought about my parents. “What about mother and father,” I asked him but he shook his head. We had no idea where they could be and no time to look for them. “What is actually happening here?” He threw an arm around my shoulders and pushed me faster forward. “Maeglin betrayed us to Morgoth,” he explained. “He came with orcs, balrogs and even dragons. The city is lost.” I could not believe what my ears heard; this could not be true. “Thanks to the Lady Idril Celebrindal there is a secret tunnel leading out of the city into the mountains. Let us hope many find their way down there.”

We rushed past fighting and fire. Glorfindel drew his sword as we came across some orcs. This was the first time I saw such foul creatures. Near the stables we saw a white stallion aggressively kicking some wolves. My beloved whistled once and it followed us. It was his steed Asfaloth. We reached the entrance to the passageway. The Lady Idril stood next to the door holding her little son Eärendil. “You must hurry my lady,” Glorfindel urged but she just shook her head in silence.

It took two hours to reach the other side of the tunnel. When we stepped out of the twilight into the now shining morning sun I saw that a lot of other elves were among us. I enfolded Glorfindel and clung tightly to his chest. The blond elf patted my back, then freed himself from my embrace and lifted my up and on his horse. As we moved forward I used my high position to overview the crowd. I could see the Lady Idril and her son, close to her, her spouse the Lord Tuor. However I could not find my parents. I was not sure what I should feel at this moment: grief for my family or joy to be with him - Glorfindel.

The journey took long and as we crossed a mountain pass it became cold, too cold for our inappropriate robes. Just when we thought we made it through all this the worst occurred: Orcs have been watching the paths close to the city and now one troop spotted us. They came running or riding on wargs, trying to kill as many as possible. The few warriors in our company fought bravely. They had almost repelled the creatures as more evil found its way to the battlefield. First we perceived a loud roar; then a body of flame and fire came closer and closer. A balrog. Tuor let out a loud yell and ran towards the beast but could not withstand its power for long. Other elves did the same, among them Glorfindel. Out of nowhere more orcs rushed towards us. Glorfindel ordered the other worriers to take care of them, he himself tried to fight the fire demon alone. I could not stand watching this; I knew that my worst fears would become reality.

Suddenly my hope raise. In the sky I saw the shapes of two large birds flying exactly in our direction. “ Eagles!” I shouted and the others turned their head. Soon they reached us. The slightly smaller one dived down on the orcs and their mounts; the bigger one was Thorondor, the King of Eagles. He helped my love to defeat the balrog. Then my heart stood still, my mind went blank. With my own eyes I saw Glorfindel falling down the cliff together with the beaten demon. Thorondor dashed after him but when I saw the mighty bird again it carried the brave warrior's dead body in its claws.

Carefully the eagle put down the dead elf and then left with a sorrowful call. I threw myself on the body of my beloved, kissed him and waited for a sign that he was still alive. But no breath, no heartbeat was to hear. He was gone.

*

The next day he was buried under a heavy stone slab. We had to keep moving or would face another ambush. I walked at the end of the crowd, next to me Glorfindel’s steed Asfaloth. Walking steadily forward I held on to the stallion’s neck, patting him from time to time.

Later we reached a secure area to rest. Under the willows of Nan-tathren we had a feast in memory of those who perished in Gondolin and also Glorfindel, loved by many. Many songs were sung but my heart could not allow me to join their singing.

*

From this day on I spent all my years praying to the Valar I did wish for nothing but a single thing: to get the love of my life back. Then one day, in the Third Age, the unbelievable happened. Never touched by anyone I still became pregnant and I gave birth to a son. His hair was golden as the sun. He did not just resemble him; he was Glorfindel, sent back by the Valar to help Middle Earth in one of its darkest hours. And so I experienced an entirely new way to love him.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

And here some help to understand some names and such (^_^) :

Glossary

Morgoth – Also Melkor. He is the most powerful among the Valar (angelic powers who formed the world) and eventually became the beginning of evil.

Balrog - Translated as “Demon of Might”. They are powerful fire demons who serve Morgoth.

Wargs - are wolflike creatures, often serving orcs as mounts.

Gondolin - The name means “Hidden Rock”. Gondolin is the city where the elf ing Turgon reigned. It was build in secret during the First Age and it stood for about 400 years until Morgoth discovered it and sent his servants to destroy the elves’ residence.

Maeglin – is the nephew of King Turgon of Gondolin. He betrayed Gondolin’s location to Morgoth.

Idril Celebrindal – is the daughter of King Turgon of Gondolin. She feared betray and gave command to build a secret tunnel leading out of the city Gondolin.

Tuor – is a human. He lived in Gondolin together with the elves, which respected and appreciated him. He is married to King Turgon’s daughter Idril Celebrindal.

Eärendil – Son of Tuor and Idril Celebrian. He is half elf, half human. At the time of the story he is seven years old.

Thorondor – is the King of Eagles. Those eagles are much larger than normal eagles. They can speak and are very wise.

Glorfindel – is an elf of Gondolin. He belongs to the House of the Golden Flower. He fell fighting the Balrog but in the Third Age he was reborn and sent back to fight for Middle Earth.

Elenya – is an elf who does not appear in Tolkien’s books. She is still very young and her beauty is famous all over Gondolin. Her parents acted very protective and do not want any male elves to approach her. But she and Glorfindel are in love with each other and try to secretly meet whenever possible.

The First Age – begins with the birth of the first elves and ends with Morgoths defeat.

The Third Age – begins with the defeat of Sauron through Elendil and Gil Galad and ends when Gandalf and others return to the Undying Lands (a bit after the Ring War).

Freda's fanfiction reviews

I always like to watch the DVDs of "Garfield" with my younger daughter and every time Garfield brings us so much laugh and happiness. It is a series of comic cartoon, and in the age like me taking it as a favourite may seem a bit childish, but I still want to tell you: I like it not only for its cheerfulness and relaxing atmosphere, but also there are so many humourous dialogs and unexpected plots.

There is not a large number of fanictions about "Garfield" on http://www.fanfiction.net/, but I found that it still has many good stories online and some of the writers showed their creative imagination and humour to us. I chose 10 out of 122 of the stories to give my comments as below.

Garfield: First Blood

This story is about Garfield, a hero saved a charming and famous lady from the vampire gangsters.

I noticed although the plot of this story appeared a bit stereotype, its genre was special and its speeches were very wonderful. By its genre, we can see there are 60 sentences in this story, however, the sentences including dialogs account for 75%, and between the dialogs, there are only 1-2 necessary sentences for helping to describe the development of the story. Also, there are few comas or punctuations in the dialogs.

The whole story seems brief and tidy, easily read. By its words, a number of humorous and playful speeches are used in the story. They keep the humorous style of the Garfield's canon through out the whole story. I think this story is fluent, vivid and has comic effect.

The Garfield mystery

Actually, this is not a story, it is about an important discovery of a very careful and loyal fan. Because he (she)pick up so many clue to prove Garfield and some other animals in this cartoon never speak at all, they seem to have mysterious abilities, and they just use intent to communicate with each other, even with their master--Jon.

His(her) discovery reminded me, and then I reviewed one of episodes of Garfield: It is true. I should pay attention to this detail in my fan fiction later.

Twice Told Tale The Truth

In this story, Garfield brought a big trouble to his master-Jon once again. When finding the price of yogurt was too expensive, Jon decided to go back home to make yogurt by himself. But he did not know anything about making it at all. When he was putting every food to mix the yogurt, Garfield played a trick on Jon attempting to sneak some food from the kitchen. However, an unexpected thing happened, the swiftly expanding yogurt spilled out of the house. After them fled from the house, Jon and Garfield reproached each other.

The plot of this story is full of the comic effect and vividly describes the features of the main characters.

The Cake

The writer might be attempting to play tricks on Garfield in this three chapters’ story: Garfield was ignored by his owner, who made three delicious cakes but not one of them was served to him. Poor Garfield, the writer just wanted to evoke his jealous and watch his reaction.

No doubtful, there are many active descriptions about the reactions and actions of Garfield's jealous, but the ending of the story appears a bit dull, for the writer only enjoyed to lead the reader's heart gradually to go down following with one by one punishes on Garfield, rather than made a climax at the end to bring a surprise to the readers, such as giving a big prize to Garfield, and so on.

Garfield Goes Home

I think this is the one of the best fanfictions about Garfield as whatever its genre, its plot and its speeches are excellent.

The content of this story is very simple: Garfield died and lay in the coffin. After Jon spoke with great affection to him, he woke up and went home with Jon. I noticed the writer created an effect of dream; all the speeches that Garfield wanted to speak out were indicated in italicises and had no punctuations at all (Jon's ones have). And, Jon's words and actions were affecting and hearty and without any nonsense.

I like this story: filled with emotion but not lacking humorous and amusing details.

Lord of the Lasagna

This story is interesting. Its beginning imitated the way of telling old stories and narrated a legend about an evil lasagna sorcerer long time ago. However, the picture swiftly switched to the modern time: Jon bought a package of lasagna, and Garfield was too impatient to wait to open and eat it. All of a sudden the zombies emerged and caught Jon and Odie away, but the lasagna was so delicious that Garfield still kept eating it instead to rescue Jon and Odie.

The story has no ending as if the writer indented to leave someone else to continue it.

Garfield's Piano
It was a good idea that with the help of Odie, Garfield could play Jon's piano on the sneak in this story. However, I think there is a scenario unreasonable: Odie excitedly jumped onto the top of the piano and almost made it fall down. Fortunately, he could push the piano back together with Garfield.

I wonder how these two pets could knock down such heavy instrument. So I think even though the story is fictive, the writer should carefully consider if some important parts of story can consist with the reality.

Garfield and John in: MAIL MADNESS

Although this story appears very unbelievable, its plot is absolutely up to the standard of the comedy.

Starting from a boring night, the story lead the reader to experience Jon's horrible feeling gradually: first time, he received a normal bill--plain; second time , he received two bills-strange; third time, he received a huge pile of envelopes--very confused; forth time, "a huge dump truck, filled to the brim with letters and envelopes " arrived--mad. While during the whole incident, Garfield didn't speak anything, he just secretly mocked Jon for his stupidity all along. At the end of the story, Garfield used his "clever" idea to solve this issue--throwing a lit match into the heap of letters. Everyone can image the end, but the story just said Jon fainted.

It is a very dramatic story.

Another Bad Monday

Actually, I don't like to create Garfield as a superhero. Because I think in all the original works, such as comic cartoons and DVDs, Garfield is a greedy, lazy, humorous, intelligent and very fat orange-color cat. He always likes to use petty tricks and sometimes he is kind and warm-hearted but sometimes he is a bit mean. Garfield is just as lovely as normal people but has a lot of shortcoming.

However, in this story, Garfield was portrayed as James Bond (007) captured an escaped cult leader who grabbed Jon's new car. I think it is too far away with the original character.

Although I don't appreciate to such creation, I have to admit the depiction of action in this story is wonderful.

Looks can be deceiving

This short story has two special point: First, it is a poetry (a modern poetry)--completely different genre comparing with the above stories I have analysed. The other is it was about Odie--Jon's dog. Among many "Garfield" fanfictions, there are a few of story talked about Odie. So, this story can let the reader understand more about Odie.

In this poem, an argument was produced whether Odie was smart or dumb. The reader could not find the answer until the last two lines, pretty amusing!

Juana's Review of Fanfiction

The Life I never dreamed of
Such touched love story of Sarah and Drover, also their with Nullah who was not their blood child.
Three different people came from different family, they built a very happy family but the war nearly destroyed this family...finally, they reunited again after they bore too much pain from separation of live and dead.

I like the end of this story, they will marry and love each other forever.

Miracles Do Happen

Yes, Miracles do happen, this is the very happy end that I am yearning.

Sarah was sad for letting Nullah went with King George but she had to if she love Nullah. After Nullah left, Sarah and Drover enjoyed their peaceful and love life meanwhile they were missing their son : Nullah.

This is the happiest result for Sarah and Drover, they had their own kid and also their loved son Nullah came back from King George. King George was a great grandfather, he loves his grandson and can give his life for Nullah , at the same time, he was a reasonable grandfather that he knew Nullah should have a good prospect with Sarah and Drover.

Monments in Time

That was really exciting monment when Drover appeared in Ball, he was totally changed from a cow boy to a handsome gentlemen. I love that monment.

When I watched "Austalian" of that monment, I hoped that Drover could appear at that monment, finally he came and shocked all the people in the Ball. And just the right time before Sarah made decision to sell her Faraway Downs.

" There is nothing wrong with falling love again." This made Drover decied that he need help Sarah to develop her business in Faraway Downs and also they might build their new family.

Such a great monment!

Australia

It is the beautiful writing remind me all the scenes I watched from movie. This movie started from an aboriginal boy's narritive, from his point of view, readers can see the history, the culture and the thinking of aboriginal people.

This narritive lead readers going to the Faraway Downs of Darwin, and from the boy's view, Miss Boss first time came into the movie.

What a nice start of Australia!

More Than I deserve!
It is a good imagination of Sarah, Drover and Nullah. Finally they reunited and went back to Faraway downs, it is a nice picture of this happy family.

But author used too much words before they went back Darwin, it showed that Drover is a male-dominted man, he want Sarah just be a soft lady and he look after her, she doesn't need do anything as a man. I can understand this from Drover's background but also I am little worry if their happiness could last long with different thinking.

I wish they are the happiest family forever.

I can say your name!-Sarah

This is Sarah's narritive, after she lost Nullah and she felt that she will pick him up soon but the war destroyed everything, she lost Nullah again and lost her best friend, also lost so many innocent people.

This is really considerable describe of Sarah's thinking, she reminded all the good time when she was with Nullah and Drover, she begger that time would come back but she got no idea where is Nullah and Drover. She thought that she could not say their name again.

The miracle was happened, Nullah and Drover came back to Darwin , this happy family went back to Faraway Downs to start their new life. I like the end of this stroy!

Nullahs Return

Nullah returned after one year wild life with King Geoger. He was really happy when he saw Drover even ignored the existing of King Geoger, he loves Sarah and Drover, he loves the happy life within his small family.

But I think if Nullah came back after one year is better he never left Sarah and Drover, because they are the most happiest family in the world.

Sing to Us

This is too much for expressing how much they miss Nullah after he left with King Geoger, they even couldn't sleep well, especailly Sarah, she dreamed him every night and worried about his life if he can eat well and live well.

We can see how much they have love with this boy as their own son meanwhile they need give this boy a freedom to follow his own rule of aborignial life. WIsh Nullah can come back sing for them and sing for their happiness!

An Epic Tale

After all the pain for feeling lost, and after the extremely changed in their life, Sarah and Drover love each other more and more, the only thing is not perfect that Nullah left them.

I like this fanfiction descrbing how deeply their love is , but too much detail about their love is not necessary, as we all know they love each other and they anticipate the boy come back to reunite a new loving family.

Sydney

This is another exciting reunion for Sarah and Drover, sad story when happened in the Ivan's Bar, Drover still thought Sarah there with him but unfortunately, she was dead.
It was a nice scence that Dorver could see Sarah and Sarah could see Drover both in fact and in their hearts.

If Nullah could back to Sarah and Drover, it will be a perfect reunion.

Susann's FanFiction Reviews

Out of the ten Fan Fictions we were to review I chose two about a game called “The Legend of Zelda”, three about the book and the film “Memoirs of a Geisha” and also five about “The Lord of the Rings” and other works by Tolkien which are related (like the “Silmarillion” or “The Lost Tales”).

I think “Memoirs of a Geisha” is a difficult piece to write a Fan Fiction about. It is probably difficult to get much humor out of this topic so writers usually stick with the serious type of writing. To do this properly a lot of knowledge about the culture is required. Authors who just watched the film will find it more difficult than those who read the book but both will still lack familiarity with this world. Even in Japan today only few people really know about geisha and especially how their kind lived and worked more than half a century ago.

On www.fanfiction.net, in the book section, “The Lord of the Rings” is the third largest category (42,947 stories), headed by “Harry Potter” (446,333 stories) and “Twilight” (135,966 stories), as of 8^th March 2010. Among all those thousands of Fan Fictions in this group are quite few brilliant pieces but there are also some authors who seem to be less gifted. During reading some of them for my review I developed a personal dislike for short stories (the kind of story I am actually supposed to write now). There are some excellent one-shots but the decent ones are at least some thousand words long. Most of the shorter stories I read so far, showed that it is highly difficult to write a good Fan Fiction with just a few hundred words. They usually do not work well with this complex world of Tolkien’s books.

I also read some of the comments other users left for the writers. I must say that I found it rather disturbing how every story, even those I thought were quite poorly written, got reviews like “Awesome!”, “Are you a real author?” or “I love your story, please go on!” It often occurs, that in communities like such Fan Fiction sites, people are very nice to each other. They usually do not really leave bad critics; they would rather decide not to write anything at all. Friends are also not really helpful since they often just review in a very kindly manner.I will try to take this a bit more serious this time. Now to the reviews of the Fan Fics I chose:

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THE LORD OF THE RINGS

“O Misfortune”

Category:

Humor

What is it about?

The Elf Caundir is a loyal servant of Lord Celeborn of Lórien. As a captain he is respected by his men and popular with everyone around him. Then one black day his good reputation is seriously in danger and he might even be forced to leave the Golden Wood forever and this all just because a sequence of truly unfortunate events.

My Review!

In this one-shot the author creates her own character called “Caundir”, the location and other persons like Lord Celeborn, Lady Galadriel and their daughter Arwen originate from Tolkien’s books. The scene takes place long before the Ring War (which is told of in “The Lord of the Rings”).

In the beginning Caundir is brought before his lord. The reader knows he did something wrong and is in serious trouble but for long it is unsure what actually happened. This way the story has a very good start, which made me more and more curious about the circumstances that caused such a mess. When we finally learn about all those things that happened to the captain at this ill-fated day the Fan Fiction becomes very funny and entertaining. I personally thought that the author went a bit too far with her fantasy. Maybe a little bit less misfortune would have been enough. However, the writing style is very smooth and I enjoyed reading it.

My Rating:

3* out of 5

“Hopeless, yet not”

Category:

Friendship

What is it about?

Before the battle in Helm’s Deep Legolas tells Aragorn that the situation is hopeless and that they all are going to die. Aragorn is not willing to accept defeat yet and if he has to die he wants to fall fighting as one of the brave worriers.

Later he is alone, thinking to himself. Was Legolas right? Was he just a fool to believe there could be victory? Legolas also reconsiders his own words. Maybe his friend was right. This must not be the end.

My Review!

The scene is an extension of a prospect from the books; the battle in Helm’s Deep (“The Lord of the Rings – The Two Towers”) This Fan Fiction is a one-shot but divided in two parts. The first part portrays Aragorn’s point of view (though the author does not use first-person narrative). It is described how he changes his mind on the matter and starts to lose hope. In the second part the reader learns what Legolas thinks about what he said and that he is sorry for uttering words that hurt his friend so deeply. Some Elements of the conversation are repeated in this part of the story. That actually makes it a bit boring to read. The idea was good but I wonder if there would have been other ways to present it. I also think that the writer tried to explain the thoughts of both characters very detailed but in the end she just could not really find the right words to actually express different meanings. Instead she gave the same ideas over and over again. This Fan Fiction was slightly disappointing.

My Rating:

2* out of 5

“The Apple Tree”

Category:

Friendship

What is it about?

Aragorn remembers a time when he was still a child. Back then he and Legolas already were very close friends, even though the elf was by far older than him. One day after a long period of joy the prince had to return to his people. As a symbol of their friendship and to comfort the young Aragorn they decided to plant an apple tree.

My Review!

This one-shot takes place before the events described in “The Lord of the Rings”. Not much is known about Aragorns childhood in Rivendell, so this is a very nice theme to choose. I am not sure if Legolas and Aragorn already shared such a deep friendship when he was still a child but that is subject to the author’s fantasy. What bothers me a bit is the way she portrays the characters. For grown up men and warriors Legolas and Aragorn are described far too emotional, which makes then seem very feminine, a problem that is not too uncommon when female writers adopt stories about male characters.

Though this fact is very annoying to me, the ending was very beautiful. I can not exactly say why but the last three sentences made the whole story for me.

My Rating:

4* out of 5

“Bananas and Ale”

Category:

Humor

What is it about?

After they spent a night out drinking Legolas and Aragorn are still not really themselves. Both badly intoxicated they return to Rivendell where Legolas has to explain to Lord Elrond how a banana could cause so much trouble.

My Review!

I guess it is a matter of taste whether a reader likes it or not but I personally did not enjoy this Fan Fiction too much. Maybe the story would be really funny if it was not about characters from “The Lord of the Rings”. I do not mind humorous pieces about Tolkien’s works but in this one Aragorn and Legolas are portrayed very much out of character. The whole idea about them drinking wild and then starting a fight over a banana (Are there bananas in middle earth? Who knows) makes them look very silly. Also the writing style of the author is not very refined and a bit plain.

My Rating:

1* out of 5

“Silver Bells”

Category:

Family/ Friendship

What is it about?

After his wife Celebrían left Lord Elrond of Rivendell to seek healing in the Undying Lands, the elf’s heart suffers. He is almost drowning in despair and grief. When it is time for the annual Gift Night, a feast for the elves to celebrate the returning light, Elrond can’t find any joy without his beloved and mother of his three children. However, a present that Celebrían had left for him, her sons and the daughter Arwen finally helps him to overcome this sorrow.

My Review!

Tolkien tells in his books how Celebrían (daughter of Lord Celeborn and Lady Galadriel of Lórien) traveled from Rivendell to the woods of her parents. On her way she and her retinue were ambushed by orcs. The Lady was so badly injured that back in Rivendell not even Lord Elrond could heal her wounds entirely. So she traveled into the West for healing and sanctuary.

In this very well written one-shot the author describes Elrond’s feelings after his wife left. I enjoyed reading a very emotional story about a male character, which did not let him seem ridiculously feminine. Very well done.

After having so much heartache and pain in the Fan Fiction it was also quite refreshing to have an ending with a “happy touch”.

My Rating:

5* out of 5

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MEMOIRS OF A GEISHA

“An Eye for Beauty”

What is it about?

Iwamura Ken’s wife knows about his interest and eye for beauty. She knows that he has a very intimate relationship with the geisha Sayuri, his mistress. Too often his side of the bed stays cold. She knows where he spends his nights but there is nothing she can do. She stays alone with her thoughts and her longing for love.

My Review!

This Fan Fiction tries to show the life and the feelings of those wives whose husbands rather seek the company of geisha or mistresses than the company of their spouses. However this matter is very complicated. I am not sure whether it is so easy to translate our western thoughts to those of the women of Japan in the 50’s. There is quite a bit ofcultural discrepancy and for someone who did not get to know this society oneself it is probably highly unlikely that one understands the nature of the people well enough.

This Fan Fiction might be a good idea but I cannot agree with the way the wife’s thoughts are only seen through our, western, eyes.

My Rating:

2* out of 5

“Bruised Peach”

What is it about?

This is the story of the young Hatsumomo; how she grew up, how she became a successful geisha and how one day she lost everything.

My Review!

So far (8^th March 2010) the author released 6 chapters of this story. It concentrates on the early life of the character Hatsumomo from Arthur Golden’s book “Memoirs of a Geisha”. Hatsumomo is indeed a very interesting character and a great base for agood story. The first chapter is not a perfect start but certainly good enough to make the audience read on. From the second chapter on, the plot advances in a very positive way. The Fan Fiction gets better and better but still shows some imperfections from time to time.

The only fact that was slightly disturbing was the description of kimonos. The Japanese society is very organized and exact. Traditional items like a kimono or other accessories worn by geisha are never arbitrary, nor random. Everything from color to pattern depends on occasion and rank (and other aspects). The authors tended to be a bit too imaginative with all this.

My Rating:

4* out of 5

“Memoirs of a broken Heart”

What is it about?

Nobu desires Sayuri and wanted to become her Danna but now she is out of reach. This was the second time he loved and a second time he tells himself that it was a mistake.

My Review!

In this one-shot the author explores Nobu’s thoughts. She writes about his past – the war, his first love – and she shows how this influences his life in the present. Nobu is portrayed as a character full of pain and mistrust. When he allows himself to love a second time he ends up disappointed again.

The writing style is flowing and easy to follow. It is an interesting point of view the author presented here.

My Rating:

3* out of 5

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THE LEGEND OF ZELDA

“Twilight Epilogue”

Category:

Tragedy

What is it about?

After Link saved the world once again he loses the most precious thing he possessed. During his long and hard quest he grew fond of this little creature called Midna, a princess from the Twilight Realm. When he is finally able to seal the door to the Twilight world which brought so much evil to his lands Midna has to return home and will probably see Link no more.

The hero is so desperate that he even wants to kill himself.

My Review!

This Fan Fiction is related to the game “The Legend of Zelda – Twilight Princess” for WII and Gamecube. I think this is a very dark way to think of an epilogue for this story. During the game nothing indicates love between Link and Midna, still this is a very popular topic with Zelda-Fan Fiction writers.

Anyway a Link who thinks of suicide is a very strange idea to me….

My Rating:

2* out of 5

“I hate Mondays”

Category:

Humor/ Parody

What is it about?

It is Monday. What a bad day to rescue a princess! Whatever Link does it goes horribly wrong.

My Review!

In this story Link is not a boy but a girl. I personally think that changing the gender of the main character does not really do anything to the plot in this case; things might have just stayed the way they were. One comment says “The best piece of writing ever”. I would not go so far but it was still pretty entertaining and funny.

My Rating:

3* out of 5